A 75 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.”

The next day, the 75 year old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, “Well, doc, its like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then her left hand, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with the teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too,
but nothing.”

The doctor was shocked. “You asked your NEIGHBOR?”

The old man replied, “yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn’t get the damn jar open!”

Sent from my iPod

So, how do you survive college?

Someone once told me that in order to write well, you have to write what you know. Here’s what I know: College and high school are worlds apart. Perhaps you were the Prom King or Prom Queen. Or perhaps you were the person who people would run to because of your notes or the other way around, you may have been the person who people would run from because you were a bully. You could have even graduated in the top percentile of your class; perhaps you were even the valedictorian. Actually, none of those matter when you enter college. You don’t go around bragging who you were in highschool when you get to college unless you’re a war freak.

In college, you start with a clean slate. People won’t care who you were in High School. The decisions that you make and the actions you take during this first year of college will have a major impact on the rest of your college experience such as choosing the people you’ll be with. College life is akin to the jungle life where you have to fight to survive. There are many hurdles, hardships, pitfalls, trials and traps along the way for college students and you au chose the most convenient way — and that is dropping out. No one can say that college is a walk in park. Rather than a park, you venture into a Jungle. It’s survival of the fittest! The strong ones survive while the weak-hearted hide. You have to learn to fight your way just like trying to get on the Ikot La Salle jeepney during rush hour. You have to observe proper timing and calculate the movement of people around you or else you’ll be left behind.

HERE ARE MY TIPS ON HOW TO SURVIVE COLLEGE

1. Put your best foot forward and aim high. Leave your highschool mindset behind. Remember, you’re no longer on that level. You have to think big. Good will never be enough, you have to try to be the best. There’s a lot going in your life right now. Expect to have moments where it seems a bit too much. As one student says, be prepared to feel completely unprepared. The trick is knowing that you’re not the only one feeling that way. The person sitting right next to you also feels it. Don’t get sidetracked or distracted. Know where you want to go and do everything you can to reach it. Gauge when you need to rest but avoid procrastinating. College is all about learning. If you procrastinate and cram, you may still do well on tests, but you’ll learn very little. Even worse, don’t cheat on term papers or tests. By now, you should know your strengths and weaknesses. Play with the cards you have and you just might win the gamble.

2. Budget, budget, budget. Not all Lasallians are rich. Some just get by. One of the most common problems in college is finances. If you’ve never had to create a budget, now is the time to do so. Find ways to stretch your money - and as best you can, avoid unnecessary expenses as much as possible. If it’s something you can do without, don’t buy it. I’m not joking when I say that you will really NEED money for your projects especially when you reach 4^th year. As they say, every peso counts. Trust me when I tell you that there will be times when you need to borrow money because you don’t have enough. Personally, borrowing money is acceptable but never ever forget to pay the person you owe especially if the other person’s they type to hold grudges and create rumours. These people exist and they find joy in the downfall of others. Thus, never let them create that opportunity.

3. Don’t always do as you’re told. Don’t believe everything you are told. The more you conform to the way people want you to be, the more control they have over you. Think for yourself, decide on what you believe, and learn to ask “why”. Don’t ever give up, don’t ever let anyone convince you that they know better than you do, because as soon as you give up and agree with them (or even just pretend to go along with it), they have control over you. If you just pretend to go along with it, then if you protest to something they tell you to do, they will see you as unsure of yourself, as if you can’t make up your mind on what you believe and would be better off to let them think for you. Make up your mind now, and stick with it. If people tell you, you can’t. If you know you can do it, then do it. Don’t let others bring you down.  No one has the right to make you feel inferior unless you let them.

4. Choose your friends wisely. They say that the friends you meet in college won’t last long. They’re just there until graduation and then after that you won’t ever hear from them again. Regardless if it’s true or not, it’s better to know who you can count on and trust for the meantime. And it’s not an urban myth that people will use you. They will use you until you’re dried up and then they’ll just dispose of you. You’ll be backstabbed more than once, and when you’re already down, they’ll gang up on you and treat you as if you weren’t their friend once. It may sound exaggerated but this happens. Not everyone in college will treat you as a friend, there’s always someone out there who’s bound to put up a friendly facade to use the people around him or her, and you maybe the next victim unless you be wary of the people around you. You’ll also need your friends when you get into a fight. I’m not saying you get into a fight. But if you do get into a fight, the worst feeling in college is the feeling that noone has your back, the feeling that everyone’s after you.

5. Finally, be yourself. No matter how far you’ve gone you always have to remember who you really are. This may sound like a line from a talent show but you need to remember it, “Don’t forget your personality.” Always mix your personality in the things you do. Be creative. Don’t forget who you are amidst the crowd. You’ll meet a lot of people as you go through college. Some may drastically change your life, some you won’t even know they entered it. As you meet these people, you’ll be influenced to imitate or despise them, that’s up to you. What‘s important is, never ever lose sight of who you are. And if at some point you do lose your sense of self, go back to your roots. Go back home or to the people you know you can trust. And always remember that it’s better to be hated for who you are than be loved for who you’re not. If you’re pretending to be someone right now, stop it. You may able to get the crowd’s attention, but that won’t be for long. Once the lies you’ve made pile up and you can no longer differentiate the lies from the actual truth, that’ll be your bitter end. So, stop. It won’t help the people around you. It won’t help you.

Let’s face it… people change. There isn’t a person in the world who stayed the same. Somewhere between summer ending and school starting, everyone had gone in their own directions making their decisions. Hearts were broken, friends fell apart, new love started and new people came into our lives. We no longer spend all of our time in our circle of friends, we no longer talk for hours about nothing at all. We’ve changed — some for the better, some for the worse. Some of us are finding love and others are trying to let go. Even though people change, we all know, even though we’re all finding our place in the world, that when we find love, let go of love, when tears fall, or a smile spreads across our face, we’ll always have our family and true friends to be with us. No matter where this bizarre world takes us and no matter what happens, nothing will break the bond we have with these people. That’s one important thing we have to remember as we go through college- we have to know who our friends are. College is tough and we need someone to be there with us. No matter how strong a person is, there’ll be instances when we’ll need the help of others.

When you first step in the world of college you feel an anxiety like no other. I have to admit, College is full of twists and turns and ups and downs. To go to college is tough; to remain, stay in college is tougher; to earn a college degree is toughest. But it’s worth it! School is about making mistakes. Heck, life is about making mistakes. The key is to learn from them.  In the end, you really don’t have to survive college. You have to live it!

What would my days be like living in such a picturesque place? ->>